The key to manifesting everything

What if the thing keeping you exhausted isn't your schedule, your business, or even your responsibilities?

What if it's that you've stopped saying what you actually want?

Today we're exploring one of the most overlooked keys to manifestation: desire. Because so many of us have been taught to "be grateful" for what we have while quietly abandoning what we truly want. We convince ourselves what we want is selfish, unrealistic, or we feel guilty about wanting too much. So we want it, then minimize it, and then want it, and then minimize it...

And then we wonder why we're exhausted.

In this episode, I detail why we often accept the order someone else placed for us instead of claiming what we actually desire. Why gratitude and wanting more are not opposites, the hidden guilt many women carry around desire, and why resentment is often a sign that we've stopped honoring ourselves.

If you've ever felt unfulfilled despite doing everything "right," this conversation may be exactly what you need.

Your desires aren't frivolous. They are information. They may even be divine direction.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why saying what you want (CLEARLY!) is essential for manifestation
• The surprising reason you feel exhausted when you suppress your desires
• How gratitude and wanting more can coexist
• The hidden web of guilt, shame, and conditioning around desire
• Why resentment is often a clue that you've abandoned yourself
• How unspoken desires create resistance in your nervous system
• A simple three-step practice for receiving more of what you want

The Three-Part Practice:

1. Honor what you want. 
2. Communicate it. 
3. Accept it DAILY. 

The universe isn't offended by your appetite. You don't have to settle for the life someone else ordered for you. You get to place your own order, exactly as you want it.

----------

Ready to F**k Around &Get Paid?

Join The Expansion Room 👉 jenliss.com/expansion

-----

👉  Come into The Expansion Room @ jenliss.com/expansion

If you loved this episode, make sure to:

• Follow the podcast on your favorite app so you never miss an episode.
• Leave a review - it helps me reach more amazing unicorns like you.
• Follow me on Instagram @jennifer.liss_
  
  

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, my friend. If you are exhausted and you don't know why, this episode is for you, because it's possible that what is draining you is not your schedule, your clients, even your money woes or your relationships. Because in all of these instances, there is potentially one big thing that is resting beneath all of this. It's that you have stopped saying what you actually want. And not only that, fucking meaning it. Today I'm going to show you why saying what you want is potentially the key to manifesting everything. And I mean everything your money, your relationships, your energy, your entire effing life. Welcome to fuck around and get paid. I'm your host, Jennifer Liss. And this podcast is here to remind you that you get to love the shit out of your life and get rewarded in every single way for that, including your paydays. So if you're a business owner or anyone who wants to enjoy life to the fullest on your effing terms, this podcast is for you. Hey there. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm going to tell you today everything that I learned about manifestation. I learned from the egg McMuffin. Yes, the egg McMuffin. When is the last time you ate an egg McMuffin? I actually do not remember the last time that I ate an egg McMuffin, but I think very frequently about egg McMuffins. And I'm going to tell you why and what that has to do with you and manifesting your dream life. Okay. So when I was growing up, my dad worked nights. He would work overnight. He went to work around 11 p.m. and he got home from work just in time to take us kids to school, which in reflection, that was very special and really nice that I had a dad who worked overnight. So while we were sleeping, and then he slept while we were in school. So I actually got to see a lot of my dad growing up. Now I've had my own dad issues to work through as all of us do, but in reflection, I just realized how really cool it was that my dad was always the person to take us to school. And he was always waking up as I got home from school. But I digress. I am blessed in that. I'm also thinking a lot about my parents, guys, because my parents just came to Portland. We just had five days together with my parents, showing them around all of our favorite things here in Portland and in Oregon. And it was just such a blast. It's such a special time that I will remember for my entire life and truly a dream of mine that I manifested at the right place and the right time. That's for another episode. But I think a lot about my parents and I think a lot about egg McMuffins because every Friday, my dad's coming home from work. Every Friday, he would stop at the McDonald's and get himself a big breakfast and he would get my mom an egg McMuffin. Such a sweet gesture, right? You know, he would stop and he would get my mom an egg McMuffin and bring it home to her. The thing is, my mom didn't really like egg McMuffins. My mom would have preferred that he bring her something else. And the only reason I know this is because one day my mom said to my sister and I, she must, I assume it was in a moment of complete frustration with getting us effing kids to school in the morning. I believe at this point I was a teenager. And so she had three teenagers who were all in school. And then she also had my little brother, who's 10 years younger than me, and also my little sister. So she was taking kids to all of these different schools and super frustrated. And I remember her saying, like, I don't even really like Egg McMuffins. I wish he would bring me a McGriddle. She let it slip to us that she didn't really like Egg McMuffins. But she kept accepting them anyway. And now at this point, she also had kids who knew that she didn't really like them and that she'd been accepting them for years. And it kind of became a whole thing where us kids were like, Mom, why are you, why are you keeping getting these egg McMuffins? Like, dad keeps bringing them to you. You don't really like them. Why don't you just tell him what you want? And so this has been a lesson for me in my life of you've got to tell people what you want. Otherwise, you're gonna keep getting the same thing over and over and over. And so many people are accepting things because it feels like the nice thing to do. She's grateful, she loves her husband. Like that was such a sweet, kind thing and loving thing that he was doing for her every week. And she didn't want him to stop because it was such a nice thing. Like we we love it when our loved ones do nice things for us. But the thing is, she was grateful, she was loved, but you can also be grateful and be loved and ask to get the order right. And this, my friends, is exactly what we do with the universe. We feel like we just need to be grateful for what we get, just be grateful for what you get. And this is something that I heard from my parents over and over and over, and even my grandparents, just be grateful for what you get. But what we don't realize is that you can be grateful for what you get. You can be so effing grateful for what you get. And you can also request that that order be delivered differently. You can have both. You can absolutely be grateful for everything that you have and ask for more. Now I 100% understand my parents telling us to just be grateful because there were many times that as a child I was not grateful and I was always asking for more. And I was a very difficult child in many ways. I have a niece right now that my mom is like, wow, she really reminds me a lot of somebody else that I know. If somebody says that they're gonna do one thing, she wants another thing. I definitely was that kid. So I understand my parents saying to me this to me in every way. At the same time, it instills a recurring challenge that we're gonna dig into today, especially when it comes to wanting something more, getting something more, and having this constant undercurrent in your life of something that doesn't feel good and something that is really, really, really draining for you. So what I want to say to start here is that if you have a gratitude problem, which I will raise my hand and admit that I didn't fully understand how to experience and fully appreciate and be in the moment of pure, true, clean, and clear gratitude. And so some of my journey over the past many years has definitely been understanding what does it mean to be present? What does it mean to be grateful? And I know that you're one of those people who has been on that journey, is on that journey because you're listening to this podcast. You you wouldn't even be here if you didn't have some kind of a relationship happening with gratitude, right? So if, but if you have a gratitude problem, work on the gratitude problem. Like that's that is that is it. And I don't even know if I want to use the word problem. If if there is something there for you that you could be more present to what is here for you, yes, be with that first and understand. And I think that this is really helpful. And I I wish that it had been something that I had clicked in my brain a little bit sooner. This is something I always think about, but I didn't quite put the dots together of you can be grateful and you can ask for more. You can be grateful and you can ask for more. Because if you are grateful and something still doesn't feel totally fulfilled and totally good to you, there is going to be an underlying undercurrent of dis-ease happening in your system because your soul is calling you to something more. And you're not letting yourself have it because you're saying, I just need to be grateful for what I have. And so you're ignoring clear messages, clear signals from your system, from your soul that is guiding you to something more. We're gonna double-click on this. So it's time to look at where you have a block around your desires and letting yourself feel the full depth and the full width, the full expansiveness of that which you desire. Because of course you're freaking grateful. Of course you're grateful. Yes, you are a grateful human being. Again, if you're listening to this podcast, I know that you are so grateful and you've been on this journey of being present to the life that you have. But there's also more for you, and both get to be true. Okay. So let's talk about the web that we weave around wanting. Because what I have come to realize that for me and for so many people, this is especially women. You know, I'm always saying especially women, not just women, but especially women, because there are certain things culturally that have been conditioned into us. Much of the work that I see needed at the beginning of a client journey is undoing the guilt around wanting things, the shame around wanting things. This I just need to be grateful, but I don't want to just fucking be grateful because I there's something more that I want. And so this cycle is continuously happening. And by our 40s and our 50s, we have woven this web around it that is so intricate. It is so deceptive. It's things like this pure hearted desire that is being disguised as selfishness. Like when I will say, What is it that you want? and you answer with what it is, how do you feel? Do you feel if I say, What do you want? What is it that you want? What are you manifesting? I like to ask this question like, what is it? What is it that's calling to you? What is this big desire of yours? What is it that comes to mind? It could be anything right now. Maybe it is that, oh my gosh, I would love to fly first class. That's what I'm manifesting. I'm manifesting a trip to fly first class. And what can happen when we have that thought? Many other things can immediately or simultaneously happen with that thought. One of the things might be, oh, but I can't have that, or oh, that's not actually possible for me, or oh, I don't know, that that's that seems like too much, or those kinds of people. I don't know if I can be one of those kinds of people. There's all of these little underlying things that are happening. So we'll have what is really a pure, a pure desire, but we'll begin to feel like, uh, I don't know. I don't know if that's like, you know, there's all those, I should just take the seat in the back. It's fine. I'm just getting from point A to point B. It doesn't really matter. But the truth is that it does matter to your soul because your soul's like, ooh, I want the experience of flying in first class, and I want that. And so I'm calling you to that. And the thing is that it doesn't matter whether you get it or not. It truly does not matter whether you get it or not. Just letting your soul want what it wants, and just absolutely just like cool, great, good is so clean. It is so clear that that's actually what helps you to manifest it. But most of the times people want what they want and then they feel like they can't. They feel like they shouldn't. They feel like I can't have it, I shouldn't want that. There's something wrong with me for wanting that. Now I'm a bad person for wanting that. We add morality into it, and it's that's unclean. It's not clear, it's muddy. I shouldn't even say clean. Clean like gives like a like there that all kind of brings the morality back into it. It's really like it's just fuzzy, it's like static, and the universe can't respond to static with anything other than static. So, what we want is to really clean this up because otherwise, there's another thing that comes into it. If you want something and you feel like for some reason you can't have it because it's selfish, it's going to make you a bad person. All of the things that can come up for us around wanting something. Again, think about what is it that that is that big thing that you want? Is it to just completely leave your family and travel all the way around the world and f those kids? They can take care of themselves because mama's going on a cruise. I'm serious. If that is a desire in you, you've got to honor that that desire exists and just say, cool, that isn't a desire that exists. That doesn't mean I'm going to act on it. Maybe you do. Maybe you do allow yourself to act on it. Maybe you at least let yourself envision what it would be like to do it, because that's really all your soul wants is to experience that. You clean things up. And if you don't clean that up, there is something that comes in the way walking into the room, and it starts with a big, giant R. Can you guess what that word is? The big R, one of the most poisonous things that can happen in our lives, one of the most poisonous things to your desires. It instantly pulls you out of the energy of pure, clear, potent manifestation. The thing that started to potentially sort of kind of build in my mom with the egg McMuffin over time, when somebody's giving her something and it's so nice and it's so kind, but there's something that she'd kind of rather have, but she's not going to say it out loud because the universe is giving her something that she should be grateful for, she is grateful for, but gosh dang it, I kind of wish that I had something a little bit different than that, that sometimes flies out of you in a moment of frustration. Yeah, resentment. The big R resentment, unspoken desire, unspoken, unmet with your consciousness, staticky desire will have you living in a low state, or maybe even a high state of the big R resentment. Another R that goes right along with this is resistance. So when we talk about the things that we want to flow into our life coming in for us, we want to have less static, we want to have that really clear channel for the universe to I want this, it gives us that. I want this, it gives us that. But again, all of that, like I'm selfish, I shouldn't have that, I can't have that, or I should just be grateful, creates a whole lot of resistance. Yeah. So when there's guilt around what you want, there's shame around what you want, you are constantly fighting against yourself because you want what you effing want. You want it. Let yourself want it. You want it. Okay. I was having a conversation the other day with somebody. They commented on one of my posts and they're in the expansion room. And so I wanted to go deeper on something that I saw there because I'm always looking for places and where how I can improve what it is that we're delivering inside the expansion room so that we can all live our life, our best lives and eff around and get paid, right? So I reached out and I said, tell me what's going on with you. Like, tell me what's happening in your life. And she tells me, and it's just, it's so beautiful, this beautiful outpouring. And she's like, I love my life. I have such a beautiful life. It's so freaking good. And I feel bad because I don't wake up every day feeling like that. There's something, it's like there's something, an undercurrent of something that I just can't name. She's like, There's a feeling in my body, even that I can feel the felt sense of it. And she's like, I've been going to healers and I've been doing all of this stuff. And I said to her, You can both be so happy with what you have. Do you know this? You can be so happy with what you have. And your soul can be called to something more. You don't have to know what that more is, but you do need to honor it. Otherwise, you're living in constant dysregulation. You're dysregulated because what you're being called to, you're not meeting in a clean way with your awareness. It's okay. You get that doesn't, it doesn't even mean that things have to change for you. It's just honoring what is what you're asking for inside and what your soul is being called toward. And then there will be actions that you take when when you have that. Like for my mom with the egg mcmuffed, it's like simply tell him. But that feels really hard. It feels really hard. And the longer that we allow for something to just like just be grateful for it, the longer you allow that, the more difficult it feels like it's going to be. Because the more, the more time it's going, the more uh rounds you have, the more experiences you have, as you can imagine with my mother and my father, he had felt for many years like he was doing something so generous, so kind, so loving. And it was. But when he finds out that she didn't ask for what she actually wanted, if she had done that years ago, he would have been like, Oh, yeah, cool, sure. Yeah, next time I'll get you the and there's like ways that we can say it to somebody to just be like, Hey, what if next time you bring me the McGriddle? I really like those. Like, but then it gets weird if we wait too long, you guys. It gets weird and it gets really resistant. And there's a lot of a lot that starts to build. And so then that can create in the the person who was delivering something to you, it kind of creates some resentment. The universe, the other people in your life are like, well, why didn't you just tell me? Like, think about the universe as my dad. Like, why didn't you just tell me? Why didn't you just tell me that that's what you liked? And I would have changed the order. Just so you know, my mom eventually did request the McGriddle, change the order. And now my my dad actually goes and gets her Starbucks. I think he still does it every Friday, or he does it regularly for her, which is so sweet. And he knows her exact order. So she did eventually tell him. Uh, and we talk about this a lot because she also she told me, I told her I was gonna write a Substack article about this, and I did. And she said, I still struggle with that, Jen. I said, you know, it's it's a hard thing that a lot of women definitely struggle with, and it's something that I would love to see changed. And because when we simply place the order so clean and clear, we're no longer in this constant state of resisting ourselves. This is why, as women, we are so exhausted and we don't know why, because you're fighting yourself all day, every day. And that's literally the most tiring job that you will ever have is to continuously fight yourself. So being grateful does not mean that you have to start stop wanting things. Desire, oh, desire. One of my mentors, Kathy Heller, said this one day in a call, and I actually think she heard it from Amanda Francis or somebody else, but I just continue to say it because it it really deeply connects with me. Desire is your divine direction. Being, being happy, being grateful, being present, and your desire and a longing for more can coexist because your beingness wants to enjoy this beautiful present moment. It also is calling you to other present moments. You can't stop it. And sometimes you are both fulfilled and happy and called to something, have that yearning at the same time. Other times you're just totally fulfilled and happy. Other times you're just really pulled into that like wanting. Yeah. Like none of it is wrong. I actually think sometimes that it's the us feeling like it's wrong that is most of our irritation. Like thinking that it's wrong can create some things, right? So if I can give you a permission slip, really, I would love for you to give yourself this big ass permission slip, more so than needing to receive it from me. But sometimes it helps, right? To hear it from somebody else. You get to want what you want. You absolutely get to want what you want. What is that thing that you want? I want you to say it to yourself out loud right now. I get to have that. I get to have that. And maybe it's simply because I'm letting myself have it clean and clear right now. I'm letting myself have that desire, I'm letting myself have that want to take a nice big deep breath. I get to want what I want. And I get to have it, even if I'm simply giving. It to myself right now. What does it feel like to be on that plane? They're bringing me a big plate of cheeses and jellies. The time I flew first class, and they brought me that big plate of cheeses and jellies and all of the things. And I was like, ah, this is so good. You get to have that. Even if simply right now, giving it to yourself right now. And now we clear the channel for it to actually come to fruition. Now the channel is clear. Because it's the shame around the desire, not the desire itself, that's keeping you from a greater state of abundance that will manifest even more of that. Your desire is your divine direction. You want to feel good, feel it now. You do not have to wait for the thing to arrive. I know that we think that we do. You do not have to wait for the thing to arrive. You can feel it right now. Right now. What does it feel like to be on that villa in France? What does it feel like to be? They don't do they don't call them villas in France, do they? They call them chateaus. I have a friend who just bought a fucking chateau, you guys. Several years ago, she said, I know I'd really like to have a chateau. You know how some people in her life reacted to her saying, I would love to have a chateau in France. They were like, who the F does she think she is? But you know what she surrounded herself with? People who were like, Hell yeah, sister, you go get that chateau. And guess freaking what? She just bought a chateau in France. Good on her. I'm so excited for her. I just I'm so delighted that that is something that she has manifested into her life because she absolutely would hold for nothing else. And she is the one person who said in to me, I only do what delights me. I only do what delights me. And that has influenced me in my thought process for this podcast and my big experiment in life that I've been participating in and teaching from, which is I don't do shit that I don't enjoy. I only do things that I enjoy. If I'm not enjoying it, I'm gonna find a way to do it in a way that I do enjoy. And that, my friends, is how we fuck around and get paid. That is how we fuck around and get paid. If you're not liking it, ask for a different order. Adjust it with new knowledge. Sometimes, hell, sometimes you might want to downgrade the order. Let me tell you about an experience I had. I went to somebody's house, beautiful home. Oh my gosh, just beautiful home on the hills, just looking out in Los Angeles, the most gorgeous home that you can imagine. And I'm there and I'm enjoying this lush, this lush grass and just like, oh, it's a beautiful day. Flowers everywhere. It's so pretty. And there are just people everywhere. There is the person who is working on their giant big garage door that they have that opens uh out so that they can look out from their house. Like seriously, this home, like it giant garage door, which is a wall, so that they can look out over Los Angeles. It's so pretty. Big uh the the grass, there's people working on the grass, there's people working on the flowers, there's two house cleaners, there's all of these people because a house like that requires much maintenance. When you have a home like that, there's you know, all of these people. And this individual loves it that way. She loves it. This is the best. She just absolutely loves it. And I was like, I don't want this many freaking people in my house ever. Like, I that's not that does not sound great to me. If there are people in my house, it's because I invited them over and we're hanging out. And I do like a house cleaner once a week, once every two weeks, but not people at my house every day because my house requires that much maintenance. I downgraded my order with the universe. I was like, yeah, yes, yes, and let me get this order right. It's not the, it's, it's not the egg McMuffin, it's this. It's something different than that. So sometimes I want you to understand that when you give yourself the experience that you desire, you're like, oh, actually, that's not what I want. That's not actually what I wanted at all. I want something different. So we're always having experiences in our life that are helping us to guide to the thing that we actually do desire and see it that way. Every experience is an opportunity for you to move even closely in alignment, in resonance, in coherence with that which you desire. So here is the practice, my friends. Number one, honor what you want. Let yourself know without editing. So this is an internal, this is what I want. Cool, clean, clear. Let yourself honor what you want. Number two, communicate it. I want you to say it out loud, whether it's to the universe, to your partner, to your journal, to yourself in the mirror, speak it out loud. Your words are abracadabra. The what the things that we communicate using our words, using our energy, using our frequency is what we get reciprocated back to us. So honor what you want, clear that channel in whatever way you need to clear that channel and then communicate it. And then number three, accept it and accept it every single day because that static comes in so easy. Those learned behaviors, the people who we are around, something that somebody says, you will pick up that frequency. So you've got to accept what you want, accept it. This is literally a gift from God. This is a gift from the universe that is coming to you and through you. It is your divine direction that you need to accept every single day. Nobody talks about this part. This is receiving a daily practice. Aligning to that which you desire is a daily practice. Do it every morning. This is why in the expansion room, I'm like, y'all, joy, expansion, ritual. You are aligning to desire as your divine direction every single day. We are clearing that channel, placing the order. The universe is not offended by your appetite. The universe is giving you an order that you are being asked to continuously place. When the waiter comes, it's not like how annoying for a waiter when they come and you're like, oh, I don't know. Well, oh well, that one's too expensive. Well, I don't know. Well, what do you, what do you think? No more annoying question to a waiter, right? Then what do you like? Tell me what you like so that I can order what you like. So then it's your fault when I don't like it and not my fault. Girl, just place your order. Place what you want. Again, the universe is not offended by you wanting what you want. So saying what you want, I truly believe the more I go on this journey, it is the key to manifesting everything. Your desire and your gratitude are together. They belong together. So remove this hidden web of guilt and shame and anything around the resentment that you've built around wanting what you want and start placing that order clean and clear. And I can't wait to see what happens for you as you do. If you want to come and do and have conversations about this, be experimenting with this, be playing with this field and have access to my meditations, to my expansion rituals, to all of the things that will help you and support your nervous system as you move through this. That's what the expansion room is for. It's only $27 a month right now. For now, it is $27 a month, or you can join for $250 for the year. You lock in that rate if you join now. So go to genlist.com slash expansion if this is something that you want to be part of. And I'll see you on next week's podcast. Thank you so much for listening in. I can't wait to hear what it is that you desire and watch you as you manifest even more cleanly and clearly all that you want. If you love this episode, I want for you to leave a review. If you have not yet left a review of this podcast, it would mean the world to me. Go to Apple Podcasts, go to fuck around and get page, scroll all the way down to the bottom and leave a review. That would mean so much to me. And I'll see you in next week's episode. Bye.